Too many years of Poison slowing my veins There’s nothing left but apathy Rotting until the stirring of awareness Until I come back to myself And then — My body, strong with my anger Roots down in the earth like a tree that Senses smoke, flames licking Arms up, branching into the air Ready for rapture, purification I want…
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A New Way of Grieving
I’ve lost people before, of course. To death and to the growing apart that happens with friends or past lovers. I’ve mourned in my own ways. The normal ways: crying, eating junk food, punching pillows and writing out the pain. But when I began my own death, I grieved in a new way. Cleaning out. I started out with…
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Crossroads
I flip through the winners from past years and I think How strange it is to be at this crossroads How odd to read this and see, just there The concept of “I don’t write that well, but I could; give it a year,” When before it was “I can’t,” And “I could never,” But growth always demands loss,…
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3AM in the Meadow
I like the 3AM me She’s the braver one willing to go down Rabbit holes of thought without Grasping each thing like it’s truth A bible to her fears No, 3AM me knows It’s all sincere but also full of shit And everything, ultimately, is fine In this freedom she flies So fast her feet barely touch earth There’s…
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Black Dog Scratching
Same old shit, different day I’m familiar with this black dog that Scratches at the door to be let in Before it jumps on my back for a free ride into My thoughts. It’s there now, do you hear it? I’m the one waiting with dark circles And smeared mascara on the mattress Like a queen of dark things…
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A Whim, A Whim, A Whim
Unapologetic in her pleasures Selecting them like flowers Like clouds puffed away; an exhale Ecstasy A whim, a whim, a whim No need to compare to others No such thing as betters Just different talents; inspiration Learning More, and more, and more No greater joy than growing No greater triumph than knowing Tomorrow could the best; believe it Hoping…
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The Fruit
Crush my heart to pulp between your fingers; I’ll smile through the blood in my teeth and ask you to do it again, harder this time. I’ve realized it doesn’t matter if I make love to the wrong person with my words. The words don’t care. They want to be written either way. Either way, I’ll bleed. We’re all…
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Your Pain Wants Answers. Answer It.
I understand the thoughts you’ve had. If you’d been a certain way, maybe you’d have been loved. If you’d been smarter. Better. You’ll think others have it figured out and are more valuable, but it’s never been about them, and their own hidden worlds don’t indicate their worth any more than your own struggles mean you’re unworthy. I’m here…
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Only Strength
I began this website because at the time, I needed it. I needed a place to write out all of my feelings, because the escape was necessary and healing. I look back on the posts I did over the course of a couple years and I see someone who had made great strides, but was still so uncertain and operating…
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Adjustments
Hello, everyone. It has been a minute or two, hasn’t it? I’ve been writing still, but it’s been confined to the pages of my little red notebook, and a bit more sporadic than I would like. I am fortunate enough to still be employed, and work for an employer that has allowed me to work from home for the…
