This is 33.

Happy Birthday to me!

I was originally going to do one of those “X Things I’ve Learned/X Things I Love in X Years” things, but I sat down to list it all, and I realized I didn’t want to just put out a huge, long list for the sake of hitting a certain number.  I could do it, but I have no desire to make a post that would take two hours to read. So, instead, here are the things I am most grateful for……or at least, the most important things.

• Mom: I have a relationship with my mom I have never seen anyone else in my various social circles have. She is one of my best friends, and she supports me always. Pin-up art? Sure. Tarot cards? She’ll buy me a deck. Skulls, books, you name it. I always say that my dad may have been worthless, but I have a mom that is worth about five fathers.

• Mike: My wonderful husband, who is there when I get overwhelmed; who will stroke my face and tell me it’s okay; that he’s proud of me. The one who watches me sleep and thinks how lucky he is. The one who reaches for my hand while we’re driving and makes me close my eyes and say, thank you thank you thank you, to the Universe.

• My friends: Both at work and outside of work, who accept me for who I am, never try to change me, but also let me know when I’m in the wrong. My co-workers, who have become like sisters to me, and gave up their weekend to help Mike and I move. The same girls who gleefully gave me a giant tiara for my birthday and a unicorn cupcake, and who always support my blog wholeheartedly. My droog, who I spent countless weekends drinking and watching horror movies in every single genre (and from every single country) with. The friends I don’t get to see as often as I would like, but always know we love and root for each other. The ones I’ve never met, but have spoken to for years through social media. The ones who have left my life and taught me lessons I didn’t know I needed to learn. All of them have made my life rich beyond measure.

• Strangers: The ones I’ve made friendly, idle chat with in lines, or in stores. Ones that grew into friends. Ones that offered assistance with no motives other than kindness. You give me hope.

• My creative outlets: Starting this blog and beginning to draw again have healed me in ways I wasn’t entirely aware of until I woke up one day and realized I wasn’t hurting as much anymore. Because it doesn’t matter how many or how few see my words or my art; what matters is I create as only I can. That I breathe life into the things that have breathed life into me.

• Me: For my love of learning, and my deep sense of self, which has allowed me to reach into my heart and brain in ways some never can. I am finally someone I am proud of.

• Spirit: Which is with me in everything I do, loves me, and wants me to grow and be the person I am meant to be. I love being able to feel Spirit in me, whether it’s through meditation or the Card work I do for myself or others.

• And last, but not least, because it’s the little things: That first sip of coffee in the early morning hours on a weekend, when I have no particular place to be; when the world is quiet and all I can hear is my own heartbeat.

It’s been a lot of ups and downs in the last three-plus decades. I’m ready to see what comes next.